2011

I have happened to stumble across Holy Guacamole and have decided to give a quick update on my life, more than a year after my last (and first) post. I am still, I have to add, completely devastated that my old posts from 2008 are gone. I know that most were mindless babble that only I would want to look over, but I know those view months I documented were incredibly important to me, even if the people in them were extremely forgettable.

I am no longer a sixth-form college student and I'm soon to be a University student. In my last post I was completely unmotivated about my studies and later went onto get BCDE in AS Level grades. However, in my last year of College I 'pulled up my socks', found a University I really wanted to get into and a course I adored and a couple of weeks ago I found out that I had got my necessary grades (ABB) to get into the University I wanted! So, next month I head off to Nottingham University to study Politics and American Studies and I'm sure it will be an incredible experience and much needed break for me. I'm looking forward to starting afresh in a new environment away from ever tempestuous relationship with my mother and a town that I have grown up in my whole life and which has long become rather bland to me.

I am still with my boyfriend, Chris, and that, I am happy to say, is as strong as ever. We have come on leaps and bounds since we were merely 3 months old and he is now living in Cheadle Hulme with a full time job and has been doing for 6 months now. Obviously, University will present itself as a new challenge to our relationship but I'm confident it's something we will overcome together.

Holy-Guacamole

In all honesty, I had kind of completely forgotten about Holy-Guacamole. But, it seems around the right time to rekindle the proper love for blogging, and not just the dribble that I've been dipping into on and off in the 2 years since I left my once beloved H-G. All my posts have been deleted - due to a rather unfortunate incident 2 years ago where I left the page up, and mum read my endless posts, most of which weren't incredibly complimentary of her - and I'm starting from scratch as a 17 year old, not that 15 year old I was then.

In a lot of ways, I think I overreacted deleting all those precious blogs from 2008, and regret it now. It seems like a lifetime ago to me, and I seem like a completely different person. I would love to reread the old blogs about Jamie, and how I seriously, really, really did think he was the best thing since sliced bread - probably because he actually paid me some attention. More importantly, I miss the first blogs of Martin, and how excitable and happy I was when that started out, and how crushed I became when it was prematurely ended by him; he really wasn't all that I made out him to be, it seems. Apart from those two encounters with boys (even though I consider Jamie to be my first boyfriend, I still don't consider it to have been a relationship of any sorts) 2008 was a year of concerts and football and America. I took leaps and bounds in 2008. I'm sad that those memories and feelings I documented for my eyes on this little blog were wiped forever in a rash haste of anger and fear.

Hello 2010. I have a boyfriend. Congratulations Emma. This seems to be the natural place to start, because some things have not changed. Though, you know, this is my first grown-up, proper relationship and even though it's still young (coming up to three months) it's a little bit intimidating! I could really ramble on about Chris for hours and hours, so much so, he probably will get a little blog later on just to introduce him properly. Because, you know, I am still that kind of person and I am sure the first proper boyfriend will be a significant part of me that I will want to record for future references!

Apart from him. I am at college. I don't know if my little motivation has anything to do with my subjects, I can't think of any other 4 subjects that I'd rather do... yet am still, pretty useless at doing any work. My attempts at revising for my recent exams were so incredibly pitiful I'd be surprised if I scraped a C in any of them, except... perhaps... Politics. This, of course is not anything to be proud of. Any discussion of exams or college and I conveniently brush it aside. I don't have any idea of what I want to do or be in my life, and even then, I have little belief in myself that if I found something I wanted to do, that I'd actually be able to do it. This is a very weak way of thinking, I am the first to admit, and one I probably have to get over as soon as is physically possible.